Sunday, January 28, 2007

Gotcha Day

Today was Gotcha Day for Nathan.

A year ago today, I got off the plane in Dallas with Nathan in one of the most gruelling 10 days of my life. I remember that week in Seoul as I waited alone. It has been a year and has grown.

Catch this great picture of us as we got home.

I remember Amy telling me that I stunk when I got in the car. I smelled of Kimchi and clothes that had been for three days.

Today, we celebrated him being here for a year.
A great year.
I smoked a pork butt today. It was awesome.
More about that story later.
Fearless Joy,

Monday, January 08, 2007

death of taylor

Taylor is my son's fish. A betta. Taylor came into our family in August. As part of growing up and showing signs of maturity, my son was granted his birthday wish to own a fish, to be a steward of a life. Samuel took the work seriously and he provided care that was exceptional for a seven year old. He enjoyed the fish, but he did not tap on the glass or put his hands in the tank. Following the rules was a key part of the maturing process.

Over the last week, we noticed that Taylor was not eating his food. His movements slowed and most of the time he would hang out on the bottom. We cleaned the tank and that seemed to perk Taylor up. On Friday, Taylor seemed to be slowing down again. I came to the conclusion that he had the dreaded ich. We treated him with drops and then we added a snail to help keep the tank cleaner.

Today, I went to his room before he came home from school. The gills remained still and Taylor would not move when I put a finger in the tank.

When we got home, I took him to the room and shared the news. I let Samuel confirm the diagnosis. Amy had left for airport. This meant that I was alone to handle this issue and over the last few weeks, he had turned to mom for most of emotional support.

I had come to the conclusion that this espisode was going to be my son's first real link with death. He has been with me to funerals and visitations before. However, he rarely knew the folks who had died. Even when one of his beloved Sunday School teachers died, we were out of town unable to attend the funeral, no finality.

This time would be different, he would have to start dealing with death. We knew that would be one of the die. I killed a dozen in my life. I felt for him, because I remember when I raised my sheep for 4-H. That first spring evening when I had to send my ewe to the truck to the butcher was tough. I cried. I gave him decisions on how we would dispose of Taylor. He decided that the flush was not a satisfactory choice. I guess he is right, the fish is more important than poop or pee.
So, we buried the fish in the flower beds. We prayed and I hugged him.

Difficult day for my son, and I hope that I led him through this rite of passage with a monicum of grace and hope.

So, I pray that Taylor is welcomed into God's Kingdom.

Fearless Joy,