Thought on Rob Bell

I think Rob Bell is trying to reform the church's thinking in a way that Martin Luther did 500 years ago. Of course Luther did that with 95 theses on the Wittenberg door, that was mass media. I wonder if Rob will stop the NOOMA series at 95. Rob sends out 95 theses about the church and the church bought it, literally. Hmm, do you want to participate in such a reformation?

Does emergent work in Appalachia

Question I have had for awhile?
Does emergent Christianity work in the context of a culture that is impoverished and undereducated, aka Appalachia?

The Fresno Bee ran article yesterday (July 17) stating that the South Central Valley of California was a worse place to live than Appalachia. The radio talk shows which have a conservative bent were ambivalent about it. (podcast) I have struggled with this issue.

In the Valley there are places of wealth, not extreme wealth. However, as I look on careerbuilder for jobs, the jobs are not high paying jobs. There is not much opportunity. There is a concern about brain drain. The interesting part of the study to me is the dichotomy of California. In the report, some of the higher ranked places for education, livability, and life expectancy were in California and likewise some of the lowest were in California.

Visalia is that way as well. There is a dichotomy of rich and poor that live alongside each other. I am not sure how well the interaction is going? Do the wealthy see the poor as people, a nuisance or a project?

As a minister and minister with an emergent bent, I look at where emergent is thriving. Minneapolis, Seattle, San Francisco, Kansas City, Dallas, Capital Area, et al. Those are places ranked higher on the well-being index. The central valley is low on the index? Question, does Appalachia need an emergent church? Does a largely undereducated, underemployed, predominantly Hispanic culture find use for emergent ministry and Christians?

This is a missionary context and I am here not by own calling but God's. I would be in Newport, Oregon outside outside of the Rogue Brewery. I am trying to understand this mission field better. Sometimes, I wish that I had a couple of hundred thousand and I could build a barn church based solely on the attractional model but God does not let me go that route. So, can an emergent church be useful and make a significant impact in Appalachia or the San Joaquin Valley? If it can, what might it look like?

Diversion sort of

Bill Mallonee former front man for Vigilantes of Love found himself in my house on July 8.
A few highlights of the event.
1.) The wide gathering of people. I invited folks from groups, church, and running to come be part of the event. Also, Bill attracted some folks who had followed him for a while. It was a good crowd for our house.
2.) It was hot. Felt bad for Muriah and Bill they travelled all day. After a long day of travel, my son had a lot of questions and insights about gear and instruments. They even being a little road weary, worked with him with great grace, patience, and care.
3.) A few folks were overwhelmed at how good Bill was. Which made me think, "Hey, I don't invest in things that suck." I think that will be my mantra in ministry. "Listen, if I am asking you to go to this event...it won't suck." Despite the Gen-X review of not sucking, Muriah and Bill were great. He handled the crowd very well.
4.) I was reminded as he was playing and I softly sang his lines how much I love the way Bill puts together words. He writes 50 songs a year and not all 50 are great, but on an album I am guaranteed that two or three will pierce my heart. Every once in awhile, he will make me laugh.
5.) I love my wife. Amy allowed for this to happen and was delighted to see it work. In the past, she would have set up road blocks. I think after 16 years perhaps we are growing and trusting a bit.
6.) Richard Rodriquez is awesome, a running buddy, he worked with my youngest in the back room building legos as Bill sang. He helped out tremendously.
7.) If Bill makes it through your town make sure you check him out. He is worth it. This is my fifth time to see him. His music has healed wounds in me, challenged me, and comforted me several times in the last dozen years. I think he can do that for you.
8.) How this ties into Emergent. It was in 1996 at Mt. Hermon that I first heard Bill play with Jake the bassist from VOL. Bill and Mark Driscoll talked about his music engaging culture from a Christian perspective. Bill is part of the journey for me into emergent thinking.

Reflections on Tony Jones' "The New Christians"

I want to take an excerpt out Tony Jones' book.
It is a painful paragraph.
Let's throw it out and let's deal with it.

"Potential mainline preachers have to pick a flavor of Christianity early on in their careers-Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic, Quaker, Baptist-the list could go and on. Like ice cream, these are the main flavors, but there are also all kinds of exotic variations-Baptist Chip, Baptist swirls, .... The pastor then becomes a one-flavor guy. He goes to that seminary, learns that theology, buts into that pension plan, and goes to that annual trade show. This is not to disparage erstwhile pastors-they really have no choice; they don't get to pick a new flavor on a whim. That's how the system of getting to be a pastor is set up; those are the rules by which the players are bound to play."

He goes on to tell the truth. Nobody cares about denominations anymore and mainline influence has waned under its bureaucratic mass.

Two thoughts.
1.) Bingo! That is absolutely the truth. I pray for Disciples Pension plan regularly.

2.) There was a moment when I wanted to drop out of Disciples. I searched to where I would go. I am not comfortable with the non-denominational denomination. I do not have street cred in those circles. I am not excited about Methodism and working with a Bishop and the third testament, the Discipline. So, where to go. I decided that my own tribe of folks Disciples was where God had called me to minister. The process of reformation needed to take place in this group and I need to work on that reformation.

As I read Stone and Campbell and live that tradition. I get the sense that they would agree with Jones' assessment of mainline Christianity. The problem with mainline Christianity is that we have divided into denominations and those are as Campbell would say 'a sin.' It has divided the church into schools, theologies, and ecclesiologies. I am a product of TCU and Brite Divinity School. I support both financially, because I seek a gentle reformation and I love TCU football.

The problem with seminary is that there is an expectation that we will have a job at the end of the tunnel. We give 3 years of our lives and lots of money to be educated and then there are jobs that do not pay enough for the education given. I think the education is important, but the reality is that many of us will have to work part time. Some of us will be resign positions, be fired, or quit. There is not a guarantee that another church will hire us even though we have skills and gifts for ministry. So, we have to work our own path to serve Jesus Christ.

My solution, as folks beholden to denominations, we need to challenge our leadership to remember that on the ground in the local church few care about general and regional structures. They are seeking a Jesus who will heal, liberate, and sustain them in their daily lives. They are seeking a path that is illuminated in the darkness. We guide folks down that path.

What happens if the Pension fund goes belly up like NBA? What are you going to do?
What happens if Church Extension folds?
Do we keep with this denomination or do we leave?
What keeps you committed to your denomination?
Is it the support of the bureaucracy or is it something greater and grander?

Why did I stay with my tribe? I believe that Disciples allows me to have conversations across lines of doctrine and creed. It allows me to hold to two fundamentals Jesus and the Bible. It gives me the freedom to work my own path of ministry. It is a grand tradition that provides some meaning. I need no Creeds. I need other books than the Bible. I need that freedom to converse with a majority of the world without the baggage of fundamentals that I have to hold onto, creeds I must confess, or rites and traditions that have no meaning. I believe that Disciples can help reform the church again.

If emergent is truly a reformation. Disciples need to join the conversation, because we have deconstructed Christianity once before. We can help do it again.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Where to begin

When emergent began, I was there. Leadership Network saw Gen-X coming. Willow Creek had issues with attracting younger generations. There was a problem and there were folks working on the issues. What happened was that folks said, "The world is changing and we have to engage the culture or we will be irrelevant." I comprehended that and I swallowed it.

My initial intrigue with Emergent was the smells and bells of worship. Bring in a screen to replace the stained glass windows. Work at it. I built the technology and brought it, but folks did not flock to it. Frustrating. I tried to be cool, too cool, too hip.

I switched churches and instead of bringing my emergent background, I got caught in my own issues of recovery. Recovery became for me the guiding force. 4 years in recovery and they have been the four best years of my life.

Now, I am in a new situation and I feel call back to engage the emergent issues. Not from technology or practice, but theology. Theology (who is God), missiology (what is the mission of the communty of faith) and ecclesiology (how is a community organized) guide it.

I want to address some of those issues from my Disciples of Christ background. How do we as Disciples handle the issues of emerging. I think we can easily say, "Emerging is cool, we are on board if it attracts young folks." However, Gen-X leaders and emergent theology carry sledgehammers. Post Modernism deconstructs.

In the midst of that deconstruction, I find some key Disciples ideals.

1.) Stripping or restoring the church so that faith makes sense daily.
2.) Freedom of interpretation of scripture.
3.) Ecumenical bent. I can learn from Pentecostals as much as my Disciple colleagues.

Over the next couple of weeks, I want to explore these things and invite folks into dialogue.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

church basement roadshow

A great deal of fun.
Need to go see Doug, Tony, and Mark.
www.churchbasementroadshow.com

Pictures to come.

Fearless joy,
guido

A cup of redo

I hang out at Starbucks and I will be rather unapolegetic about it. All the haters of corporate coffee...get over it. It is the closest place next to my house.

I get free wifi there...don't know how, but I do. It works.

At my local Starbucks, they know me there. I show up and the Grande Americano is going. Except when the new person works the register.

"Your name please," says the youngling.

"Guido"

There is a moment when the Sharpie just is pressed still against the cup.

"You don't know Guido" says the shift leader, "Everybody knows Guido"

The youngling begins the struggle to right the name on.

Then at the counter, "REDO"

I picked up my cup with "REDO" emblazoned on the side and laughed.

That is God's grace is it not? We all get a chance to "REDO" with Jesus, that is the promise.

I got a cup of Redo and savored it.

On Sunday I went and got Starbucks cups and handed them out with the "REDO" printed on the side.

"May you find Jesus the barista who serves a cup of 'Redo' this week when you need it."

Fearless Joy,

Guido in need of "redo" Climer

Jeff Cordiner writes

In X saves the World.
The media "obssesses about the mating habits of AARP members."

Guido concludes
Let us says sing together a new song..."Muerto Viagra!!!!"

The Disciples' roots

Went to the Alexander Campbell Mansion last week in Bethany, West Virginia. Had been there in 1995, but learned something new about this place. Each night the house worshipped. As we think about emergent and missional culture that urges daily worship not merely weekly worship...here is the founder of the Campbell-Stone movement who believes that daily worship is key to development of spirituality. He also was bivocational in his ministry. He raised sheep on his land and used the money of house to do ministry. I had gone to Bethany expecting to meet the bookish and rigid forefather, but was engaged with other facets of his life that were more pertinent than his volumes of erudite writing. Alexander Campbell still can teach us.

block party

Saturday, Amy and I hosted a block party for the 80 houses in our neighborhood.
We were hosting in the spirit of the church and with church funds.
We were not going to promote the church, but if an opportunity opened up we would talk about church.

Evangelism is a little unsettling for me at times, because it is a whole lot of bait and switch. I remember world's largest banana split as a kid and then we get the Baptist youth minister convincing us to get wet, be baptized.

But that is not it for me. I give a gift, a block party or a drink of water, to a person to let them know that God cares for them and I do too. It provides an opportunity for me to tell them that the best I got is Jesus. I don't give Jesus, but I share how Jesus changed me. I do it through words if necessary.

I can't share with you why you need Jesus or if you will go to hell without him. No, I know that places filled with doubt, self hate, anger, resentment, and fear were large in my life. I know that with Jesus they are receding.

Guido

Book Review: The Fall of the Evangelical Nation

Walking through Border's the other day, I saw this book and immediately picked it up. Two things of note to me. Christine Wicker used to work for the Dallas Morning News that during the 90's had a great religion section on Saturdays. She was a key part of its success and depth.

I sat down yesterday and read through the whole book in about three hours. It is a quick read and I am not a fast reader. It is most antecdotal stories and stats that many in the church are very familiar with. She uses numbers that are not shock, she relies upon George Barna.

The thrust of her argument is that the evangelical movement is really as large as it thinks it is. It represents not 1/4 of the country but a mere 7% to 8% of the United States. She also notes that Christianity is not growing in the United States. This complies with other arguments being made like the strength of Christianity being found in the Southern Hemisphere and Asia. Philip Jenkins has promoted this idea in his book, the Next Christendom.

She not only argues that the Evangelical movement has been used and perhaps abused by the Republican Party and the conservative movement, but she also argues whether or not evangelical Christianity's main premise makes any sense at all. She echoes the sentiments of "The New Atheists."

Where she says that the evangelical church is failing is in two areas.

Those who are super committed to following Jesus Christ and his mission are becoming more and more disillusioned with the local church. They are doing faith outside a corrupted church.

George Barna agress and encourages this movement.

From a mainline perspective, I see this. I have seen people come to the church to make a difference and when they can't they leave. The church's bueracracy and rules conflict with God is calling them to do. They move to more conservative churches or leave. For Barna, he says people just leave and start something new.

Second area, people are becoming disillusioned with the evangelical faith. All of the bad stuff about evangelicalism comes home to roost and they leave. That is seen in Catholics leaving the church over clergy sexual abuse. It is scene in mainline churches as well.

So, what does this leave us with? She makes clear some very salient points. Leaders within the evangelical movement bluster about morality, but a majority of Americans do not live a moral life. The Southern Baptist Convention may say boycott Disney, but the Southern Baptist Men will not boycott ESPN.

To be hopeful, because her argument is a strong against evangelicals, but mainline Christians are no better. We are at the end of an age and there is a new age coming. In the midst o fthese transitions, I hope and believe that spirituality comes ot the forefront and this provides avenues for Christians to witness the grace, love and peace of Jesus Christ.

Missional Churches

Into the Neighborhood
Mark Priddy shares when Missional is not helpful.
It is a link to David Dunbar's Missional Journal. This is your two for one special.

"Alan Roxburgh suggests that the current period of highly discontinuous change will not go away any time soon. He estimates that we are two or three generations away from a time of greater stability for the culture and the church. During this time “none of us will find clear answers or complete solutions.” (The Sky is Falling!?! [ACI Publishing, 2005], p. 67.)
We should not conclude from this comment that missional leaders don’t know where they are going! The point is that this discussion is not about having all the right answers, but rather trying to identify the most important questions before the church–and working toward biblically and theologically sound answers.
For this discussion everyone is welcome at the table: traditional churches, charismatic churches, mega-churches, emerging churches… no one is excluded unless they exclude themselves. The challenges facing the church in our generation call for the Spirit-led creativity and commitment of the whole body of Christ. We need to put aside our relatively minor differences to focus on the pressing questions of our day. Faithfulness to our Lord demands this. And, yes, I admit it–I’m impatient!
So let’s get on with it!"

Good stuff, I believe. We are in a state of flux in the church. There is a new rise of atheism that is prevalent. People are not satisfied with the church in America. How do we renew ourselves?
My solution is move the church out beyond itself and realize that it must be willing to die to live.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Are any of my friends on this list

The List: The World’s Worst Religious Leaders

Posted April 2008
When Pope Benedict XVI visits the United States next week, he will likely make the case that religion is a force for peace in the world. Unfortunately, clerics from the world’s major faiths have, at times, helped justify and encourage the worst forms of bigotry and violence. This week’s FP List looks at the world’s leading preachers of hate.


http://http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=4244

I am not on this list?
Are you?

cats

I have found out that I have a fear of cats, a phobia of sorts. Not that I scream and run when I see one. No, that I am fearful of being scratched and bitten by one. Volunteering with the SPCA is forcing me to deal with this fear and it also revealed that I have this fear.

Still, I will hold to my philosophy..."So many cats...so many recipes."
And, I will still hold to my philosophy to care for God's creation...even cats.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Emergent?

Last night, I went to Calvary Chapel's discussion of Emerging Christianity led by Charlie Campbell. Coming to this event represented either my masochistic side or my desire to get into a fight. I knew where the conversation would lead, because I was carrying my Bible, Generous Orthodoxy, and Velvet Elvis. I knew I would need my Bible to be able to carry on the conversation and I wanted the two texts he would be quoting.

Before the meeting, I prayed to myself that God be willing to allow me to hear what is being said and to be open. Do not put up the defenses right away. I am not sure if I was willing for that prayer to be answered.

However, I began praying for Doug Pagitt, Rob Bell, and Brian McLaren lead voices in the emergent church. Just God encourage them and let them stay focused.

In the end, I realized that I am emergent in viewpoint and theology. Have been for at least a decade. Now, I think I am going to claim that in San Joaquin Valley.

I am emergent in theology. My practice is not Emergent. My worship style is not emergent. But, I practice emergent in my thinking and philosophy it is who I am.

working through

What do we control?
That is the greatest issue in my life, trying to discern what I can control and what I can't.
As a minister sometimes has this moment that she or he are the hands that God is using to bring about the Kingdom of God...then there is this realization that Kingdom and goodness is always welcomed.

At those moments, I have to remember that I do not have to change the world. God is doing thaat. I am here to witness to that fact, because God has changed me.

But, I do wish, hope, and pray to see it happen.
On those days when I feel that the kingdom has taken a step back...I know that I am being claimed by God. So, I hope for others. I try to bring grace and hope all the while trusting God.
I know that this is rambling, but I need to speak this so I can believe it.

Love is not the greatest word....Courage is the greatest word.
May you have courage to trust God and love the world.

Change

How do we change?
That is the question that really is at the heart of life of faith. I preached yesterday a sermon on the Wedding Banquet in Matthew 22. The gist of the sermon was that to be a citizen of the Kingdom of God did not depend upon goodness or acts, but a fundmental willingness to change.

I have preached that sermon before, but when I preached that sermon before it has been that others need to change. The question for me is now, what do I need to be willing to change in my life to make myself more useful for the Kingdom.

I need to let go of fear. My life right now is comfortable, and I am fearful of making changes that may jeopardize that comfort. However, the call in my life is to be useful to the Kingdom of God, not to be comfortable. I have prayed the last few days for God to help me be willing to change.
I continue to pray and perhaps this time I will have courage to make the significant changes in my life.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Spitzer

Hmm, the govenor of New York is a sex addict.
Then the hope is that he gets help. He is self righteous, dishonest, and self destructive.
This is not political.
Perhaps, there will be opportunities for others to see how destructive addictions can be. Especially those addictions that are hidden. Gambling, spending, food, etc.
In between, many people will look at as morality. He is weak. He is, but that is not the whole story. He is crazy. He has lost touch with reality and put himself as god.
Well, the temple of Spitzer is closed and if there is grace of God in this. Then Spitzer will find out how to be honest and find God. Then the healing will begin.

The sad fact is that he is not like many others, mostly men, who live dishonest lives. Who think they are in control, but are so out of control that they wind up with prostitutes, looking at pornography, or with anonymous affairs. There has been Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and now Elliot Spitzer. There are many other folks who don't garner the headlines who have the same problem, they make themselves god and then lose control.

Water supply

Alright.
So today we find out that nation's water supply.
The report only gives pharmaceuticals. Then that begs the question, what happens with illicit and illegal drugs. We know that drugs are caught in urine tests meaning the body does not dispose of the drugs in the system. If the water supply has legal drugs in it, then it reasons to me that it has illegal drugs. Of course, the news is not going to tell us that.

Next question, does bottled water that is just local water tricked up with more purification still have drugs?

Final question, did bottled water companies pay for this study?

oiy,oiy, oiy!!!!

Difference between Moses and Jospeh

I noticed a difference between Moses and Joseph, the guy with the coat with many colors or long sleeves not Jesus' stepdad.

Joseph went to Egypt and he hung in PHaraoh's house. He was wealthy. He did little in his ability to care for others. In fact, it was not until his family showed up starving from famine that he sought to help them. He had the power to help them before they came, but he waited for them to come to him. He cared more for Pharaoh than his family until confronted. So, for Joseph to do good, the people came to him.

Moses was in exile from Egypt and for him to do good he had to go back. He went back and did not wait for folks to come to him. He went to the Burning bush. He went back to Egypt.

Through the eyes of misisonal church. Moses is a missional character. He went and did the will of God. Joseph allowed others to come to him and then he helped. His self interest was not always the interest of God. His will and God's will were at odds at times. Moses was driven to help others. His heart melded with God's heart.

Preparation

We are doing a series on prayer. One of the key reasons to do this series on prayer is that I sense the need in the church to come at prayer differently. Prayer is not something we should do, but we respond to prayer out of a desire to know Jesus.

In my story of faith, I can count many times when my prayer and devotional life was pretty empty. There were weeks when I would go without praying. When the Bible was the last thing I wanted to pick up. Those days are fewer, but I struggle at times with that. What I have learned is that sometimes the way I had been praying in the morning, in my office, or while I run that those methods no longer were able to connect me with God. So, I stop and try to find a new way. Light a candle. Put on a prayer cloth. Change devotional books. Take a walk. But, I claim those moments and do not try to fake it.

The key part of growth in the spiritual life is honesty. Honest with God and honest with myself.
If I am honest then there is nothing between God and me.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Bangalore...customer service hell

I know Thom Friedman lauds the work of India and its role in the flattening of the world and globalization. However, customer service through the world of internet is hell.

I think the issue is that Indian way of thinking is different from the American way of thinking. I process the world differently from an Indian and though technical knowledge may help these folks...there understanding and ability to communicate with the American mind is lacking.

Likewise, I think if America was providing customer support for Mumbai...not so good.

My gripe is this. I have just been asked to reinstall my OS and that was diagnosis first. It seems that with Dell customer support, reinstall the OS is the first solution. When I work with stateside customer support the folks seem to listen and understand the problem. The soution might be...your hard drive is fried.

Curious thing is that I am not down on all Customer support in Bangalore...just Dell's. Their methodology sucks.

Anyways, how about that first episode the Wire season 5. Awesome. True, True, False.

The Golden Compass

I am not a part of that movement of Christians who are telling folks not to go see the Golden Compass. Really, I don't care. I know that the author of the book is an Atheist, but I figure that the folks who made the movie, an interpretation of the book, are all atheists. I don't fear the movie and I imagine that the themes of the movie will shoot over the head of the folks watching it. I saw Grease as a kid...and I caught none of the innuendo...the hot dog jumping into the bun escaped me. So, Grease did not turn me into a dancer, I don't expect The Golden Compass as a movie will turn kids into atheist. If it does, the spiritual formation in churches needs an overhaul.

My review:
Great special effects.
Great story, but it is no different from any other story. It is good vs. evil. How do we overcome evil through violence.

In the stories of Tolkein and C.S. Lewis Christian stories of myth. Good overcomes evil through violence ultimately. Friendship and sacrifice lead to community overcoming through violence. The movie here is the same. The story is not new.

The image of God and religion as closed minded, anti-freedom, and corrupt. I agree that religion is in need of destruction. The god of that tribe needs to die. So, why defend that god?

Somebody give me a narrative where violence is not the way to good overcoming evil.
This is Gladiator, Braveheart, and the Karate Kid. There is nothing fresh to the story, but it is a story that sells. It is good, but not great.

5 things I will miss about JP

Today, we made a decision that JP/ Joepa was going to be put down.
He has a mass near his spleen and his platelet count is abnormally low that could cause danger in a surgery. For the last 5 days he has not eaten and is not even his bothersome self around our oranges. In honor of having been able to care for him and for him trusting his life with us...I have put down the five things that I will miss about JP.
1.) Halloween 1999, JP consumes 2 bags of Tootsie Rolls and 10 Milky Way bars. Then JP hurls at the kitchen door...the floor slopes right there. The slope leads to the door that heads to the basement. We have to clean up Tootsie Roll vomit and let me say I have never seen so much vomit in my life.
2.) Cousins give us a Harry and David basket. I come home and the whole basket is gone. I wonder where the 9 pieces of fruit have gone. Clueless I am until I find a small piece of Royal Riveria Core on JP's bed.
3.) We have a friend Laura S. who stays the night at our house to keep watch on JP. JP spends the whole night gnawing on a Cow knee. He eats the whole cow knee in a week.
4.) I would entice JP to play by acting long Long Duk Dong from 16 candles when I would yell, "Oh, Sexy Girlfriend!" Upon hearing these words, he would get up and be ready to play.
5.) Laying on the ground, JP would come up and laydown next to me. We would spoon.

Bonus story, because he was that damn good of a dog.
The night before we move to Garland. We get a babysitter who knows beans about dogs. She lets him out and he gets away. Somebody finds him and we have to go to the bad part of KC to get him. WIth police back up, I pay a finder's fee to get him back.

JP was the best dog in the whole world. Our family will miss him.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Ryan Shay

I was tremendously bummed on Saturday. Amy had asked me about that guy who ran in KC at the Hospital Hill. Ryan Shay. After Hospital Hill I met Ryan. Ryan had finished an hour or so before me and got money. I got some cheap medal. However, for a couple of minutes we talked about running and Hospital Hill. He was personable and gracious. I followed his career after that. We raced at NYCM together. Again, he finished hours before me.

It was great event on Saturday. Ryan Hall, Rithz and Brian Sell did great. It is just sad, we lost one.

Beyond my cognitive ablities

Moving has introduced me to a new communities and one of those are the folks who run in Visalia. They are fewer than the Dallas folks who I joined at White Rock every Saturday for years. They run faster and longer. This past weekend, two folks I know ran the Javelina Jundred. That is a 100 mile race. Now, this ain't no marathon it is 100 miles. To the left is Marcia who is sporting a devil costume, because the JJ has costume contest to go with the race. I figure, you get beyond a marathon and folks can do anything they want. Behind her is a more traditional ultra runner.

It is pretty incredible. One guy told me all you have to do is run 5mph for 24 hours. It sounds simple and I guess that is a way to get my head around it. However, after 20 miles in Chicago...I thought, no ultra in this body. Who knows?

I got other friends who moved from the 5K to the marathon and are now beyond the marathon. They may coax over the threshold. So, as we were chatting one early morning. The 100 miler is now the new marathon. Everybody is doing them.

Stepping into 3

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him."

Those words are brutal words and probably the most hopeful words ever uttered.

To turn our will and our lives over to God.

Do you know how hard that is for me? For me, I will only speak of my experience, this step in life is critical and crucial. As I am starting to plant a new church, I must get out of my own way and let God work through me.

Earlier this week, I had come to the conclusion that I was using food to handle anxiety. That is not healthy. I was seeking comfort or pleasure from food. I was not trusting that God would take care of me. I had been heading down that path for awhile, but I decided that I needed to stop. Earlier this month, I had a diabetes scare and found out that everything was alright. However, I do have elevated cholesterol. I workout three to four times a week, my cholesterol should not be that high. So, I need to change my diet. However, that is hard to do when food is not fuel but a tool and means for handling anxiety. So, I just said to God, "This hunger that I feel is really about my hunger for you. I will seek you." It has been hard but in two days I feel healthier. That is good. I am not going to get into the details of how. I am not sure how, but I keep knowing that my hunger pangs are mostly hunger pangs for the divine.

As a church planter, I must rely heavily upon God to do it. I must conform my will to His will. I must trust that God will use me. At times there are moments of self doubt, but I work through this step daily to remember that I must turn my will and life over to God.

Working on Step 3, that is where I am. I don't progress beyond this step...I stay here and do it everyday.

Your will, not mine.
Your will, not mine.

Sometime in the midst of those words, I began to quit trusting myself and trusting God. It seems so foolish to say this that is hard. Do I trust that God will get me through? I only do that by moving into those places of discomfort and realizing that God is there with me. I really wish the gospel was not about salvation but comfort. Yeah, but we all would be numb and bloated.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Ministry why?

I think one of the things I have learned is that why do I want to be a minister. One thing is that I really like people and when I trust myself and not give into fear...it is much better. There are those fears of insecurity rumbling inside me. So, I must constantly be vigilant on trusting God and myself.

The key to me is that I believe that Jesus has the power to transform lives. Why? My own life has been transformed. Not transformed at baptism, but transformed later. It took awhile before I allowed myself to experience grace and forgiveness.

Where has that transformation taken place in my life. The shame and dread that isolated me from family and friends and the self loathing that kept me from hearing from people who loved me, friends, family, and acquaintances that I had gifts to share is gone. Not because I thought good about myself. Not that I heard the stories of Jesus' love. No, when I finally believed them and allowed them to rumble in my bowels (good Hebrew word) that was when I was able to see that I am a child of God and my sin was not so great that God could not forgive me. My seperation from my God could only be breached by Jesus who connected with me God. A God who loves me and that allowed me to trust God, myself, and others. It allowed me to connect.

My task in life is to help people get connected. First with God, then with themselves, and then with others.

I know you believe that God loves you...but do you live like an agnostic? Do you live like God hates you? If you do...I pray that you will hear the words of grace and that you feel that love that is found in a god who leaves heaven to come to earth to be with you.

Losing my daytimer

Last week, I lost my day planner. I had gone the way of Franklin Covey and tried to organize and focus my life. Since graduating from seminary, I had tried many paths to organization. In Seminary, my uncle gave me a Day Runner that has been very useful, but it was a little too small. So, I looked a day planner that used 8 1/2 x 11 paper. That was too huge. Then I went electronic using a Palm. The Palm was laborious. Then I used Outlook that was like the palm, but a little easier to use. However, it kept my day planning tied to the computer. Then I had my computer stolen or I had to reformat the C: drive. So, I went for a couple of years without any real organization.

Then in the summer, I decided that I was going to need a better mode of organization. I decided that I was an old school person, I needed paper. I bought "7 Habits for Highly Effective People" to get the philosophy about this program. I agreed with a great deal of it. Created a mission statement and bought into the system. I bought the year of daily planning pages, put all my information into the my day planner, and I had decided to use the Classic size. A little too bulky, but large enough to get the information. I lost the day planner last week in Costco. I was loading groceries and forgot my day planner in the grocery cart

This really sucks. So, I went to Depot de Office and bought another simulated leather binder and am beginning another attempt. I was asked how my week was at church and this moment of losing my day planner tops the week's memories. I think part of my frustration is that losing a day planner is a reminder how finite my organization skills are. How scattered brain that I can be and a great way for shame to creep in. That voice in my head that tells me that I am a failure. However, I decided to quit dwelling on that voice and buy a new planner. Re write my mission statement and come to the realization that keeping my life totally organized is the defining point of who I am. That my salvation is not dependent upon it.

So, I try to be organized to be helpful and useful. I am not working on my organization as way of being perfect. Got to remember that and losing my day planner helped me remember why I am doing this.

Chicago Marathon

What a brutal day last Sunday was.

The runner's reports are not overly exagerrated. I arrived at the first two water stops and there was not any Gatorade. The water was low. It took 90 seconds to find water at each stop. At that moment, I realized that I would need to readjust my time. The temperatures were excrutiating with it being 88 degrees and 86% humidity.

Three thoughts.

1.) Volunteers are incredible. Those folks who arrived to hand out water at the aid stations were pretty much screwed. They had a race organization that did not prepare them for the day. They had runners who were jerks. We runners can be very self centered, because well, the whole day is about us. However, I did not meet any volunteers who were bitter, angry, or anything but helpful. Chicago bravo!

2.) Quitting is an option. At mile 14 I was pretty much done. Anything else that was going to happen that day was going to be slow and painful My feet hurt and I was cramping. I quit sweating once. Sometimes it is better to quit than to push on. I was telling myself during the run. My measure as an athlete, person, father, and pastor did not lay upon my ability to run this thing. So, I quit running at mile 15 and just was looking to finish.

3.) I prayed that morning and my prayer was basically, "God I am not asking for a great time, because I am supposed to prepare to run. I am not praying for a day free of pain. Just let me accept the day as it is." That was a hard prayer to live into as the day came about. As the day ended, I met a Nigerian cab driver who said, "I was inspired by you all. I saw 70 year old man, running. I sit on my butt. THere was a 300 pound guy doing 26.2 miles. I can't get around two blocks. You all are heroes, you changed my life."

No Cabbie, you changed my life. It takes perspective to understand life and sometimes it is best seen outside of myself.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Waiting for salvation

For my devotional time, I use a book called "A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants." I have had the book since 1995. I bought it, because it looked cool and simplistic to me. A leather book with a cross on the front. Yeah, I am bit of simpleton...I have bought CD's because of the cover art...oiy bad mistakes.

It is a book that is divided by weekly topics. I have picked up the book off and on throughout my ministry. It is a good friend who does not need constant attention.

Today, the reading was Psalm 25. The Psalmist said this.

"You are the God of my Salvation

I wait for you all day long."

I have been thinking about that. Here is this guy who is has this faith that God will save him, but it has not happened yet. There is no proof, only faith. In my own life, I have thought how I have kept faith even when my salvation has been very far away or even at times when I did not know if I would ever be saved. However, I kept believing and living as if it would or had. Does that make those of us who believe that faith is important hypocrites? I believe in God's goodness even though I have no proof.

In the midst of my own addiction, I prayed for salvation. I preached and believed, but was never assured. I would pray, "You are a good God, and I am waiting for you." I think those who struggle with addictions of all sorts have that feeling of waiting. This is destroying my life, but God is not present. I think what I have learned on this side of my life is this, 'I need to say that God will save and I need to live as it has happened.' Faking it until you make it.

So, I just wanted to share what a friend, a leather bound book shared with me today.

Somewhere this life of faith is about courage in the face of fear.
I have had a great deal of fear. Fearful about failing. Fearful about reaching out. Fearful about what others will think about me. Yada Yada. Somewhere in Garland there is a box of courage that I left behind. I felt it was a courageous move for me to go work at Jos. A Bank. It was admitting that life had gone astray and that I was rebuilding myself. I felt courageous in CPE. I felt courageous in accepting the move.

So, I was at an open 12 step meeting and one of the guys dropped 46 f bombs and basically said, "To be sober is not to be phony. You can fake it and go smoke weed, but I am not one of those folks. You have to find God or you will be in the same f###ing place you are now." It was one hell of a sermon and it convicted me. I have to remember how far I have come. I have to remember that I am doing this for the gospel and that Jesus walks with me. I have to remember that it matters not what anyone thinks, but it matters what Jesus thinks. I have to give this all up, so I can gain serenity, courage and wisdom.

So, as my 12 stepping friend said, "Quit f---ing around if don't want to f----ing do this get out."
I am in, all in.

Witnessing grace

Last night, I got a picture mail on my phone. I have a new phone number, so I have been getting odd calls. I looked at the number and realized that I did not know anybody who would send me a picture mail. I left the picture unopened. Amy and I just went back to working on the household budget.

A little while later, I get a phone call from a girl or young woman who asks if I got the picture and she realizes that she does not know me.

"Did you get the picture?"
"Yes, but I did not open it."

"Will you please delete it?"
"Sure."

"Please delete it, oh my God it is embarrassing."

I hung up the phone and went back to the budget. Upon finishing, I pondered opening up the picture to see what it was. My curiousity had really gotten to me. What is so bad? Then I decided that I needed to do thing of grace. If I made a mistake in my life, would I want a do over?

So, I deleted the picture.

I think that was the graceful thing to do. Opening it...there may have been something that would have disturbed my well being. So, I just deleted it and that was grace. I pondered sending a text back to her...defining this as a grace filled moment. Felt a little too creepy. A phone call, a little too intrusive. So, I let my actions be the last words...I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not, but it is all I had.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

What a day

This morning I got up to run 12 miles on the Yokohl River road. It is a road that goes up into the foothills of the Sierra Madre. It is a hard run from a flat land runner like me. We started in the dark and the sky was filled with stars. More stars than I had seen in awhile. Then dawn broke upon the golden rolling valley. At the turnaround, I could hear off in a grove of Oak trees, the yelps of pack of coyotes. Awesome.

After I got home, we got the family into the car for 2 1/2 hour ride to the beach. The night before, I bought Samuel a boogieboard. So, we went to Cayucos and hung out for a few hours. Samuel was a natural on the board, riding waves all the way to the shore. Dad, not so much.

A road trip with the the fam from hills to beach in a day. That is one of the reasons to live in California.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Beginning again

I had begun grieving the move from Dallas to Visalia for awhile. I cried a couple of times. When we handed over the keys to our house, I cried. Garland is not garden of Eden, but that house was the place where much of our life happened. It was the house that welcomed Nathan to our family. Perhaps, that house saw me have a bit of transformation in my own life. I cried a bit when we left SpringCreek Church. I cried a bit when I ran for the last time, but I felt good about that. I had spent a great amount of energy and sweat...there were friends there. That is good. I cried at Korean camp. Finally, I was done crying and was ready to move.

So, Amy, Samuel, Nathan, my brother Cody who was the helpler, and myself left Dallas to head to Visalia. A three day journey. When we crested over the mountains on I-5 and saw the San Joaquin Valley, I felt relieved. We were almost there.

We have unpacked the boxes and began enjoying life in Visalia. Thursday night Farmer's Market, Friday night Bar B Q in downtown. Tri Tip is the speciality, not bad. In n Out Burger. A box full of fruit. Running in the foothills of Sierra Madre. Cool Mornings and Hot Afternoons. A city that is 15 minutes across by car.

Sunday was awesome. The people were very welcoming. The adventure begins. I knew and believe even more that getting to Visalia was going to be the easiest part.

fearless joy,
guido

grace and courage

Two quick points.
Smoking done, Barbecue done. Flavor was good, but I did not master the trimming of the brisket and to be honest trimming the brisket is key. We went marbled instead of lean. A little disappointed with how it turned out, but I have learned...pork butt that is where it is at.

Party was good from my perspective. Friends checking out the house before we leave. I really appreciated seeing folks who mean a great deal to me and if they felt that as they left then my goal was reached.

Now, cool thing that happened.
Today, as I was running at the lake. Got finished and was psuedo stretching. A woman walked up to me. "Are you Niel?"
I paused and wanted to know if I should stick to Guido, "Yeah."
"You knew me when I was in seventh grade."
"Did we go to school together?"
"No, you were my youth minister in DeSoto. My name is Blythe."
"Yeah, I remember. Cool how are you doing?"

Man, I remember Blythe and that small youth group that taught me a lot helped me learn about church. Her family was great. She hand an older sister and her mother helped me through a great mission trip to San Antonio.

It made my day. What it reinforced in me was why I do this thing called ministry. It is about touching people's lives. As I was packing, I came across the book that youth group had given me as a parting gift. She had some personal words to me about that mission trip to San Antonio. I was eating lunch with another young person who I have ministered, she is consider a call to the ministry. She was a little discouraged and I told her the story of Blythe. "That is the reason to be a minister. You do things and you hope that they have made a difference. The funny thing is that you never get the joy of knowing how much of an impact you made. You trust that God is using you."

So, I pack the house today and get ready for the mover's to arrive. I do that knowing that God can use me. He has and I trust that he will.

Who are the folks who you hope you touched?

Fearless Joy,
Guido

smoke

One thing that I enjoy doing is smoking meat. In the Midwest, they call it Barbecue. In Texas anything that goes on a grill is called a Barbecue. But, let's just move back to the smoke, the coal, and the challenge to bring a smokey flavor to meat. I just love the process.

It takes a great deal of time, and the risk is that the adventure fails and the meat winds up tough as leather.

Today, I got a brisket on the smoker and it has been on the smoker for about five hours.

It is a slow go, and I think I need to leave this world to go back to the world of smoke.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Resolution Rant

One of my frustrations with our tribe's biennial gathering is the business sessions. My first GA was in Tulsa, 1991. It was a blood bath of a GA over the issue of leadership and homosexuality. Both sides were foolish.

Over the years, I have voted against many resolutions, because I vote against the resolutions unless I am personally willing to live out the resolution. So, even if I think the resolution is good, unless I am willing to live my faith into it... I feel hypocritical or irrelevant. Both are not what I want to be. Maybe this is just my West Texas perspecitve, of the individual of critical importance.

What gripes me most about the business sessions is this. We have these debates where a person gets a couple of minutes to put together a opinion. So, the debates are nothing more than sound bites. That is what sucks about public discourse. We become nothing more than Ann Coulter's and Bill Maher's very shallow and very strident.

This Campbell-Stone movement cut its teeth on debate. It grew through dialogue. It champions itself as a reasonable faith. We lift up the head above the heart, most times. Our practice as a body to make decisions is the worse of public discourse, the sound bite. Not a reasoned argument, a well-formed opinion, and one cannot come with an open mind and be persuaded. There is not enough time.

I think that is what ails these gatherings. Liberals and Conservatives can't have a dialogue, can't learn to appreciate the gifts that each has to share when we are reduced to every two years of sound bites. We squabble over issues that really are not essentials. Homosexuality is not an essential. It is a non-essential issue. I think Jesus takes people as they are not as they should be.

So, I really wish we were resolved not do this anymore...we won't be. I told a friend that I could be found at the Flying Saucer, a FW pub, during the business meetings. Maybe over a Shiner, I can have a conversation with a person who has a different opinion and through that dialogue my mind and heart might change. So, if you are in FW, I will be at the Flying Saucer in the afternoon and Starbucks in the morning. A seat will be open for you.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

To give a moment of grace

For some reason beyond my own fathoming, I get up at 5:00 AM to go workout at White Rock Lake. We are doing a workout with an acronym that I cannot remember. It involveds push ups, squats, lunges, etc. Things that are best done in the early morning hours when few people are around. It is a tough workout and I usually feel it for a couple of days.

Today, on my last 800 meter run, a woman was walking. It was the familiar walk of one who has been beaten by the workout and is just trying to finish. I know it well. I passed her as I was doing my cool down again. I thought, "Guido, you have been there, give her a little encouragement." As I finished up, I walked back down to meet her.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Yeah, tough workout for a Monday."

"I know. Remember, your worth as human is not defined by one workout, one race, or one hobby you pursue."

She chuckled, "Yeah. What's your name."

"I am Guido."

"Oh, I heard about you."

I am not sure if that was helpful or not. However, it was a moment when I had a chance to make a difference and perhaps it did. I am not a superhero for doing such a thing, because there were selfish motives in my sharing that knowledge. It helped me. It made such an impact that I blog about it see how self centered I am.

But to live out my mission, I had to do it. This is what it will take for me to be effective as a church planter, more interactions of this kind. It only took me five years to develop enough relationships to get credibility to share such words. Oiy!!!

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Marathoning for a cause

This January, Rev. Keith Stewart from Spring Creek Community Church began a sermon series on Africa focusing upon the AIDS and debt crisis. He focused his energy on a Kenyan Village in Katito. Keith was asked by World Vision, who sponsored his trip to Africa, to run the Chicago marathon in efforts to raise funds for Katito.

As a marathoner, I just sat stunned. I had planned on running the Chicago marathon this year and had secretly thought in my head that Keith could benefit from the experience of running a marathon. Never told anybody about that secret, not even Amy. Just had that one inside.

When Keith said that...I just sat in stunned silence throughout the service. I took up the pledge to join some Spring Creek Church folks to run this marathon and raise money for Katito.

I am asking you to make a donation to World Vision. Here is what you need to know.

Amy and I are financing my trip, so all money raised goes directly to World Vision. 100% goes to World Vision.

My goal is to raise 500.00 from folks like you and Amy and I will match the donations to $500.00.

All the money is going to Katito.

For more inspiration check out these sermons by Keith. "On a mission from God," the January series.

Thanks for your support,
Guido

Levi in Mark

I just caught this in Mark, thanks to the Recovery Bible.
Mark 2:15 "That night Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to be his dinner guests, along with his fellow tax collctors and many other notroious sinners."

Levi invited his friends meet Jesus. A new convert to the faith, to the following, invited folks to meet Jesus. What did Jesus and 'the boys' do? They met them and had dinner and witnessed grace.

Mission-to be in the mission field will send the faithful to places that are a little uncomfortable. I recall being in some people's homes that were a little wild. That is part of the business of faith and following Jesus.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Getting to Bonhoffer

There are books in my shelf that are what I call my 'should' books. That is an awful title for a book. I dread when somebody gives me a book and says, "You should read this" or "You must read this."

I have a couple of books like that, "Crime and Punishment" by Dostevsky, anything by Kierkegaard, Douglas John Hall's systematic theology, and Bonhoffer's "Cost of Discipleship."

I feel that my life is a little less than complete for not reading these books. Today, after having Cost of Discipleship on my shelf for almost 20 years, I picked it up again. Today, 'cheap grace' made sense. I got it.

"the only man who has a right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ." (pg 55)

As I begin to sense the enormity of the task ahead in Visalia and how difficult that will be. Those lines began to make sense. I think my life in the faith to follow Jesus has been fairly easy. Church camp was paid for. A few classes to get baptized. TCU and Seminary were paid by gracious folks. However, this last year of walking away from ministry to rebuild and redefine myself and coming through to a calling has been a step of faith. I am not sure how enormous, but it has been a more serious adventure than began in years preceding this one.

Now, I am beginning life anew.

Grace is a gift and we must respond to that gift. Grace for grace to be transforming, we must live as we are forgiven and in deep need of grace.

In recovery, I am freed from my habits and addiction by my willing ness to do anything to stay sober. That means praying, reading the big bood of AA daily, making phone calls and being rigorously honest.

As a Christian, I must reorient my life through loving God fully and serving others wholly. (The great commandment.) I must also be willing to go and help others in this world who are in need of grace. (The great commission.) That is a difficult prospect, but it is the way of Jesus.

Thanks DB for being patient and knowing that I would pick up the leaves that you left behind.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Faith

I like this image, because it is a good reminder of faith. I begin this ministry with faith. I am not saying that I am vast resevoir of faith. I sometimes have moments when I have deep fear. Financial fear. Fear of my own limitations. Fear that I will not adapt and be able to reach the people that God needs to be reached. All those at times, cause me to pause.

But, faith overcomes those fears. I move with fear and trembling up the wall. I trust that I have put on my harness right. I trust that I have connected the rope to me well properly. I trust the one who holds the other side of the rope will be capable of holding me as I move up the wall.

Faith. As I think about the core value of this new community. It is faith. It is faith for me to come. But, the first step of faith was their's. They were the one's who had the faith to start. They were the one's who have faith to see gifts in me that will be useful. They are one's of tremendous faith.

So, I am in the harness. I call out "Belay On"...I hear the call out, "On Belay."

I am stepping to the wall and searching for my first hand hold and foothold.

"On Climb" and the voice that calls us has yelled, "Climb On"

I am going to step off the ground this weekend and put my faith in the rope and the belayer who holds me.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

(Photo by David Eppstein)

Lessons from Cane Ridge

In my tribe and its splinter groups, the folks out the Stone-Campbell movement, Cane Ridge is a birth place. It is an old meeting house/church on the Kentucky Frontier where in 1801 a large revival was held. 25,000 people across the frontier gathered for a revival and about 3 to 4 thousand became Christians.

I made my first trip to Cane Ridge a couple of days ago as part of a New Church Planters Peer Group. They told the story and history of the building and the revival. The interesting point about Cane Ridge is that the revival took place outside of the meeting house.

The building was not used for the revival except as a place for the preacher's to sleep and get rest. Cane Ridge provided me with a powerful lesson.

In a church, it is not about the bulding, it is about the mission of reaching out. If Cane Ridge church would have kept to themselves and stayed inside...then nothing would have happened. It took the church reaching out beyond itself.

We have preserved the building, but to me the greater message is that there are stumps outside where preachers hopped up on a stump and proclaimed the gospel to a people who came searching for God and community. As part of the Stone-Campbell movement, I will carry that image with me wherever I serve. I am a Disciple...meaning my mission is outside the walls of any building.

Emerging Churches are lame, my take.

As I am packing my books, I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer going to support Emerging Church Authors. Doug Pagitt, nice guy, but his book is an odd size.

I think the Emerging folks are trying to be cool and hip, so they make books that are not traditional.

A dozen emerging books are a pain in the butt to pack. I can pack the Ante-Nicene, Nicene, and Post Nicene fathers with ease comparted to the emerging folks.

So, I am going to make my theological and ecclesial decisions based upon the packability of the books.

So, folks at Youth Specialities...I am going to wait for the podcast.

Anybody have any Alexander MacLaren books instead of Brian's?

Fearless Joy,
Guido

The key word: Mission.

Why do we as Christians and as a church do the things we do? Why are we who we are?



Mission.


Ultimately, the church exists to care for the one's who are not there. I am a Christian not for my own salvation, but to use 12 step terminology, 'to carry the message.' To help folks who have not been touched by grace, because I know what a life apart from God is.

Angie came to me after worship and said, she had a vision of a junior high ministry. "Niel, you know what is running in my mind. Blues Brothers. 'We are on a mission from God.' I feel like I am on mission from God." It was a mission and for three years, Angie was the catalyst for youth ministry. It was cool. Her mission was generated by listening and watching her daughter's friends. She had passion and calling. She did not have many skills, but those can be learned. We had little money, but passion can overcome dollars or generate dollars.

Why is this church in Visalia being born? That is the question that will drive the life of this church. What is Jesus calling us towards? What message or experience to we have to share that will bring grace, healing and life to one's who are in need of grace, who are wounded, and who are dying?



Being the church is not about being the coolest church in town. It is not about great music. It is not about a great atmosphere. It is not about any of that outside stuff. It is about what is on the inside of the church, the mission.



The churches that decline and die are those that have no sense of mission. They do not know why they exist. Also, those churches that die are those who existence lies in being inward looking and care for one another as the primary mission.



Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking about that. My conflicts in the churches that I have served have been on this issue. People may complain that I do not visit them enough. I have not heard anybody tell me in a church, 'You are spending too much time with us. We need you out doing your mission.'



As I think of the folks, I admire, Herb Kelleher president of Southwest Airlines, I am reminded that on day before Thanksgiving, Herb, as the story goes, would go to work with luggage handlers. That was the place that needed the most help. In my life as a pastor, I have found myself scrubbing toilets, cleaning floors, carrying dead babies, and counseling difficult folks because that was where I was needed. I did those things out of sense of mission. I found myself visiting folks because I cared about them. My frustration came when folks complained about their needs were not being met. I recall telling a young man in prison who had not received a visit in awhile. "You are important to me and I love you. If I have not come to see you, it is because there is one who is hurting more than you. If you could pray for me during the in between time that would be helpful."





My personal mission is this. I am a Christian to bring encouragement to those who fear. To bring out the child of God that lies within every person. To remind folks that Jesus is their friend. To bring folks hope who suffer isolation of shame and regret.





These words by Mary Chapin Carpenter from her son "The Calling" have really been speaking to me.

"Deep in your blood or a voice in your head
On a dark lonesome highway
It finds you instead
So certain it knows you, you can't turn away
Something or someone has found you today



Genius or Jesus, maybe he's seen us
But who would believe usI can't really say
Whatever the calling, the stumbling or falling
You follow it knowing
There's no other way, there's no other way."





What is your mission?
What is your calling that will not let you go?

A new call

Yesterday, I received a call to be a pastor of a new church in Visalia, California.

My posts have been sporadic as this movement to a new church has been a large part of my life that I did not want to process while it was happening. Those discussions were private between my wife, the search committee, and myself. So, those are people who I have an intimate relationship, more intimate than a blog.

However, with this new call, I am going to use this blog to communicate this transition. I am stealing from my buddy Pastor Bruce Frogge who chronicled his journey to Naples, FL.

So, what have I done. I began painting my house. I quit my job at Jos. A. Banks. I am coming to the conclusion that the next few weeks, I need to get myself spiritually around what I am being called towards. I want to invite you on the journey to help in that transition.

So this Texas boy, one who grew up in the Republic of Texas is moving to the Republic of California. My prayer is that I may have courage to be who I am and live faithfully to what God is calling me to become.

fearless joy,
guido

My Nano

Got a nano for Christmas.
Really not a person who ever wanted a Nano or MP3 player. I hate listening to music while working out. Catch that I hated listening to music. Running a treadmill with headphones only lead me to a deeper despair. However, Apple and Nike teamed up with the Nike+ Nano system that is a pedometer and MP3 player.

It is cool. The pedometer is not that accurate, but today I finished a run and Paula Radcliffe congratlualted me. "That was your longest run so far."

It was a surprise, a moment of grace. I know it is not geniune and it is impersonal, but her voice reminded me of my purpose of running. To run with her, Meb, Deena, Ryan, and all the others who lace up the shoes and toe the line for a marathon. It is fun.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Gotcha Day

Today was Gotcha Day for Nathan.

A year ago today, I got off the plane in Dallas with Nathan in one of the most gruelling 10 days of my life. I remember that week in Seoul as I waited alone. It has been a year and has grown.

Catch this great picture of us as we got home.

I remember Amy telling me that I stunk when I got in the car. I smelled of Kimchi and clothes that had been for three days.

Today, we celebrated him being here for a year.

A great year.

I smoked a pork butt today. It was awesome.

More about that story later.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

death of taylor

Taylor is my son's fish. A betta. Taylor came into our family in August. As part of growing up and showing signs of maturity, my son was granted his birthday wish to own a fish, to be a steward of a life. Samuel took the work seriously and he provided care that was exceptional for a seven year old. He enjoyed the fish, but he did not tap on the glass or put his hands in the tank. Following the rules was a key part of the maturing process.

Over the last week, we noticed that Taylor was not eating his food. His movements slowed and most of the time he would hang out on the bottom. We cleaned the tank and that seemed to perk Taylor up. On Friday, Taylor seemed to be slowing down again. I came to the conclusion that he had the dreaded ich. We treated him with drops and then we added a snail to help keep the tank cleaner.

Today, I went to his room before he came home from school. The gills remained still and Taylor would not move when I put a finger in the tank.

When we got home, I took him to the room and shared the news. I let Samuel confirm the diagnosis. Amy had left for airport. This meant that I was alone to handle this issue and over the last few weeks, he had turned to mom for most of emotional support.

I had come to the conclusion that this espisode was going to be my son's first real link with death. He has been with me to funerals and visitations before. However, he rarely knew the folks who had died. Even when one of his beloved Sunday School teachers died, we were out of town unable to attend the funeral, no finality.

This time would be different, he would have to start dealing with death. We knew that would be one of the lessons...fish die. I killed a dozen in my life. I felt for him, because I remember when I raised my sheep for 4-H. That first spring evening when I had to send my ewe to the truck to the butcher was tough. I cried. I gave him decisions on how we would dispose of Taylor. He decided that the flush was not a satisfactory choice. I guess he is right, the fish is more important than poop or pee.
So, we buried the fish in the flower beds. We prayed and I hugged him.

Difficult day for my son, and I hope that I led him through this rite of passage with a monicum of grace and hope.

So, I pray that Taylor is welcomed into God's Kingdom.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Christmas huh

Working retail this year. Never had done the retail industry before. Done the fast food nation. Done the church business, but retail that is another beast. I have found myself unmotivated about Christmas and I think it is working retail. I asked my coworkers if they felt that way and we surmised it was the store. We like work, but retail sucks the spirt of Christmas out. Part of the retail engine is that it paints the picture that world walks into of Christmas lights and specials. Muzak blaring in the store. As Old Navy says this is the season to "Get the Fash ON" I guess that is right. I am not sure.

After this experience of retail life, I empathize greatly with folks in retail who suffer to paint the illusion of Christmas that is really fake. Mid January the Christmas stuff will be put away or thrown away. The associates and clerks will breathe deeply as January will bring slower sales. So, I am not experience the awe and wonder of Advent and Christmas this year and for that I am joyful. I now understand a segment of the population that struggles with it.

In my previous days as a pastor, I saw retail as the bane of Christmas. It was the source of materialism and now I see how the employees are effected as well. I am one of them.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Red One

These are the folks who spent the last half year running with me.
Great folks who taught me a great deal about grace and joy.

Oprah goes down 4:28

Oprah goes down.

Laura and I finishing the marathon before the rain settles in.

Race Week

It is race Sunday before the marathon. I have spent the last few months training for the White Rock Marathon It is a hometown marathon and I have set five goals. I have set them in order of importance.

A.) Have a great time and keep the joy of marathoning.

B.) Beat Oprah 4:28, I believe

C.) Beat Guido 4:40:59

D.) Help Courtney who has been running with me across the finish line.

E.) Five Hours

I may not meet my time goals, but I need to make sure that I keep my joy goals. It is race week and I feel pretty calm about this race. Very calm, not very anxious at all. See how I am doing on Thursday.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

New Church

I heard a sermon last week from Keith Stewart at SpringCreek Community Church It talked about consumerism and our desire to want new things. The sermon really touched my heart, because it forced me to realize at this moment in my process, I do not have a heart for people that I need to serve in this area. My heart is not fully into the new church process at this moment. I think my motivation is somewhat selfish. So, I need to wait.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

November 3, 2006

Isaiah 55:6-11

Seek the Lord while he may be found.
There are moments in my ministry when I have had the opportunity to do some new ministry. There was a moment that I could pursue it or let it go. When I did not pursue it, it went away.

I wonder if the call to ministry is that way. Called to ministry, but do not respond to the call…it fades. Is this what God is saying. This is the moment to follow the call? How do we have patience but have a sense of urgency? This is the mature point of faith and I pray for wisdom to know, to feel in my gut, in my bowels the call of the Lord.

Last night, I talked with Val and he had signs from God to start a church. I am not so huge on signs. They are true for Val. I believe God spoke to him through those. That is his faith. My faith is different. It does not demand signs, it relies upon nudges and whispers and the feeling in the pit o fmy stomach. That feeling, “I am being true to the gospel at this moment.”

November 2, 2006

Proverbs 22:17-21
“Apply your mind to my teaching:
For it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips.”

As a planter, I must be able not only to have the words within my mind, but the words and convictions must live in my guts, my bowels in Hebrew language, the center of my being. There will be time when my head will spin, my heart will grow cold, but in the very seat of my being I must have the faith and confidence that God is calling me, yes me, to this mission of being a church planter.

I am not there yet. It is not rooted in my gut. It is in my head.

fearless joy,
guido

November 1, 2006

Isaiah 6:1-6

“Holy, Holy, the earth is filled with his glory.”

A reminder that the whole earth is God’s. It is in need of reclaiming.
"this place is part of the Kingdom of God."
Also, God is the one who take away my sin and make me useful.
It is God who makes me ready for ministry.
Trust that.
When God calls, I will go.