Marathoning for a cause

This January, Rev. Keith Stewart from Spring Creek Community Church began a sermon series on Africa focusing upon the AIDS and debt crisis. He focused his energy on a Kenyan Village in Katito. Keith was asked by World Vision, who sponsored his trip to Africa, to run the Chicago marathon in efforts to raise funds for Katito.

As a marathoner, I just sat stunned. I had planned on running the Chicago marathon this year and had secretly thought in my head that Keith could benefit from the experience of running a marathon. Never told anybody about that secret, not even Amy. Just had that one inside.

When Keith said that...I just sat in stunned silence throughout the service. I took up the pledge to join some Spring Creek Church folks to run this marathon and raise money for Katito.

I am asking you to make a donation to World Vision. Here is what you need to know.

Amy and I are financing my trip, so all money raised goes directly to World Vision. 100% goes to World Vision.

My goal is to raise 500.00 from folks like you and Amy and I will match the donations to $500.00.

All the money is going to Katito.

For more inspiration check out these sermons by Keith. "On a mission from God," the January series.

Thanks for your support,
Guido

Levi in Mark

I just caught this in Mark, thanks to the Recovery Bible.
Mark 2:15 "That night Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to be his dinner guests, along with his fellow tax collctors and many other notroious sinners."

Levi invited his friends meet Jesus. A new convert to the faith, to the following, invited folks to meet Jesus. What did Jesus and 'the boys' do? They met them and had dinner and witnessed grace.

Mission-to be in the mission field will send the faithful to places that are a little uncomfortable. I recall being in some people's homes that were a little wild. That is part of the business of faith and following Jesus.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Getting to Bonhoffer

There are books in my shelf that are what I call my 'should' books. That is an awful title for a book. I dread when somebody gives me a book and says, "You should read this" or "You must read this."

I have a couple of books like that, "Crime and Punishment" by Dostevsky, anything by Kierkegaard, Douglas John Hall's systematic theology, and Bonhoffer's "Cost of Discipleship."

I feel that my life is a little less than complete for not reading these books. Today, after having Cost of Discipleship on my shelf for almost 20 years, I picked it up again. Today, 'cheap grace' made sense. I got it.

"the only man who has a right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ." (pg 55)

As I begin to sense the enormity of the task ahead in Visalia and how difficult that will be. Those lines began to make sense. I think my life in the faith to follow Jesus has been fairly easy. Church camp was paid for. A few classes to get baptized. TCU and Seminary were paid by gracious folks. However, this last year of walking away from ministry to rebuild and redefine myself and coming through to a calling has been a step of faith. I am not sure how enormous, but it has been a more serious adventure than began in years preceding this one.

Now, I am beginning life anew.

Grace is a gift and we must respond to that gift. Grace for grace to be transforming, we must live as we are forgiven and in deep need of grace.

In recovery, I am freed from my habits and addiction by my willing ness to do anything to stay sober. That means praying, reading the big bood of AA daily, making phone calls and being rigorously honest.

As a Christian, I must reorient my life through loving God fully and serving others wholly. (The great commandment.) I must also be willing to go and help others in this world who are in need of grace. (The great commission.) That is a difficult prospect, but it is the way of Jesus.

Thanks DB for being patient and knowing that I would pick up the leaves that you left behind.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Faith

I like this image, because it is a good reminder of faith. I begin this ministry with faith. I am not saying that I am vast resevoir of faith. I sometimes have moments when I have deep fear. Financial fear. Fear of my own limitations. Fear that I will not adapt and be able to reach the people that God needs to be reached. All those at times, cause me to pause.

But, faith overcomes those fears. I move with fear and trembling up the wall. I trust that I have put on my harness right. I trust that I have connected the rope to me well properly. I trust the one who holds the other side of the rope will be capable of holding me as I move up the wall.

Faith. As I think about the core value of this new community. It is faith. It is faith for me to come. But, the first step of faith was their's. They were the one's who had the faith to start. They were the one's who have faith to see gifts in me that will be useful. They are one's of tremendous faith.

So, I am in the harness. I call out "Belay On"...I hear the call out, "On Belay."

I am stepping to the wall and searching for my first hand hold and foothold.

"On Climb" and the voice that calls us has yelled, "Climb On"

I am going to step off the ground this weekend and put my faith in the rope and the belayer who holds me.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

(Photo by David Eppstein)

Lessons from Cane Ridge

In my tribe and its splinter groups, the folks out the Stone-Campbell movement, Cane Ridge is a birth place. It is an old meeting house/church on the Kentucky Frontier where in 1801 a large revival was held. 25,000 people across the frontier gathered for a revival and about 3 to 4 thousand became Christians.

I made my first trip to Cane Ridge a couple of days ago as part of a New Church Planters Peer Group. They told the story and history of the building and the revival. The interesting point about Cane Ridge is that the revival took place outside of the meeting house.

The building was not used for the revival except as a place for the preacher's to sleep and get rest. Cane Ridge provided me with a powerful lesson.

In a church, it is not about the bulding, it is about the mission of reaching out. If Cane Ridge church would have kept to themselves and stayed inside...then nothing would have happened. It took the church reaching out beyond itself.

We have preserved the building, but to me the greater message is that there are stumps outside where preachers hopped up on a stump and proclaimed the gospel to a people who came searching for God and community. As part of the Stone-Campbell movement, I will carry that image with me wherever I serve. I am a Disciple...meaning my mission is outside the walls of any building.

Emerging Churches are lame, my take.

As I am packing my books, I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer going to support Emerging Church Authors. Doug Pagitt, nice guy, but his book is an odd size.

I think the Emerging folks are trying to be cool and hip, so they make books that are not traditional.

A dozen emerging books are a pain in the butt to pack. I can pack the Ante-Nicene, Nicene, and Post Nicene fathers with ease comparted to the emerging folks.

So, I am going to make my theological and ecclesial decisions based upon the packability of the books.

So, folks at Youth Specialities...I am going to wait for the podcast.

Anybody have any Alexander MacLaren books instead of Brian's?

Fearless Joy,
Guido

The key word: Mission.

Why do we as Christians and as a church do the things we do? Why are we who we are?



Mission.


Ultimately, the church exists to care for the one's who are not there. I am a Christian not for my own salvation, but to use 12 step terminology, 'to carry the message.' To help folks who have not been touched by grace, because I know what a life apart from God is.

Angie came to me after worship and said, she had a vision of a junior high ministry. "Niel, you know what is running in my mind. Blues Brothers. 'We are on a mission from God.' I feel like I am on mission from God." It was a mission and for three years, Angie was the catalyst for youth ministry. It was cool. Her mission was generated by listening and watching her daughter's friends. She had passion and calling. She did not have many skills, but those can be learned. We had little money, but passion can overcome dollars or generate dollars.

Why is this church in Visalia being born? That is the question that will drive the life of this church. What is Jesus calling us towards? What message or experience to we have to share that will bring grace, healing and life to one's who are in need of grace, who are wounded, and who are dying?



Being the church is not about being the coolest church in town. It is not about great music. It is not about a great atmosphere. It is not about any of that outside stuff. It is about what is on the inside of the church, the mission.



The churches that decline and die are those that have no sense of mission. They do not know why they exist. Also, those churches that die are those who existence lies in being inward looking and care for one another as the primary mission.



Over the last couple of days, I have been thinking about that. My conflicts in the churches that I have served have been on this issue. People may complain that I do not visit them enough. I have not heard anybody tell me in a church, 'You are spending too much time with us. We need you out doing your mission.'



As I think of the folks, I admire, Herb Kelleher president of Southwest Airlines, I am reminded that on day before Thanksgiving, Herb, as the story goes, would go to work with luggage handlers. That was the place that needed the most help. In my life as a pastor, I have found myself scrubbing toilets, cleaning floors, carrying dead babies, and counseling difficult folks because that was where I was needed. I did those things out of sense of mission. I found myself visiting folks because I cared about them. My frustration came when folks complained about their needs were not being met. I recall telling a young man in prison who had not received a visit in awhile. "You are important to me and I love you. If I have not come to see you, it is because there is one who is hurting more than you. If you could pray for me during the in between time that would be helpful."





My personal mission is this. I am a Christian to bring encouragement to those who fear. To bring out the child of God that lies within every person. To remind folks that Jesus is their friend. To bring folks hope who suffer isolation of shame and regret.





These words by Mary Chapin Carpenter from her son "The Calling" have really been speaking to me.

"Deep in your blood or a voice in your head
On a dark lonesome highway
It finds you instead
So certain it knows you, you can't turn away
Something or someone has found you today



Genius or Jesus, maybe he's seen us
But who would believe usI can't really say
Whatever the calling, the stumbling or falling
You follow it knowing
There's no other way, there's no other way."





What is your mission?
What is your calling that will not let you go?

A new call

Yesterday, I received a call to be a pastor of a new church in Visalia, California.

My posts have been sporadic as this movement to a new church has been a large part of my life that I did not want to process while it was happening. Those discussions were private between my wife, the search committee, and myself. So, those are people who I have an intimate relationship, more intimate than a blog.

However, with this new call, I am going to use this blog to communicate this transition. I am stealing from my buddy Pastor Bruce Frogge who chronicled his journey to Naples, FL.

So, what have I done. I began painting my house. I quit my job at Jos. A. Banks. I am coming to the conclusion that the next few weeks, I need to get myself spiritually around what I am being called towards. I want to invite you on the journey to help in that transition.

So this Texas boy, one who grew up in the Republic of Texas is moving to the Republic of California. My prayer is that I may have courage to be who I am and live faithfully to what God is calling me to become.

fearless joy,
guido

My Nano

Got a nano for Christmas.
Really not a person who ever wanted a Nano or MP3 player. I hate listening to music while working out. Catch that I hated listening to music. Running a treadmill with headphones only lead me to a deeper despair. However, Apple and Nike teamed up with the Nike+ Nano system that is a pedometer and MP3 player.

It is cool. The pedometer is not that accurate, but today I finished a run and Paula Radcliffe congratlualted me. "That was your longest run so far."

It was a surprise, a moment of grace. I know it is not geniune and it is impersonal, but her voice reminded me of my purpose of running. To run with her, Meb, Deena, Ryan, and all the others who lace up the shoes and toe the line for a marathon. It is fun.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Gotcha Day

Today was Gotcha Day for Nathan.

A year ago today, I got off the plane in Dallas with Nathan in one of the most gruelling 10 days of my life. I remember that week in Seoul as I waited alone. It has been a year and has grown.

Catch this great picture of us as we got home.

I remember Amy telling me that I stunk when I got in the car. I smelled of Kimchi and clothes that had been for three days.

Today, we celebrated him being here for a year.

A great year.

I smoked a pork butt today. It was awesome.

More about that story later.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

death of taylor

Taylor is my son's fish. A betta. Taylor came into our family in August. As part of growing up and showing signs of maturity, my son was granted his birthday wish to own a fish, to be a steward of a life. Samuel took the work seriously and he provided care that was exceptional for a seven year old. He enjoyed the fish, but he did not tap on the glass or put his hands in the tank. Following the rules was a key part of the maturing process.

Over the last week, we noticed that Taylor was not eating his food. His movements slowed and most of the time he would hang out on the bottom. We cleaned the tank and that seemed to perk Taylor up. On Friday, Taylor seemed to be slowing down again. I came to the conclusion that he had the dreaded ich. We treated him with drops and then we added a snail to help keep the tank cleaner.

Today, I went to his room before he came home from school. The gills remained still and Taylor would not move when I put a finger in the tank.

When we got home, I took him to the room and shared the news. I let Samuel confirm the diagnosis. Amy had left for airport. This meant that I was alone to handle this issue and over the last few weeks, he had turned to mom for most of emotional support.

I had come to the conclusion that this espisode was going to be my son's first real link with death. He has been with me to funerals and visitations before. However, he rarely knew the folks who had died. Even when one of his beloved Sunday School teachers died, we were out of town unable to attend the funeral, no finality.

This time would be different, he would have to start dealing with death. We knew that would be one of the lessons...fish die. I killed a dozen in my life. I felt for him, because I remember when I raised my sheep for 4-H. That first spring evening when I had to send my ewe to the truck to the butcher was tough. I cried. I gave him decisions on how we would dispose of Taylor. He decided that the flush was not a satisfactory choice. I guess he is right, the fish is more important than poop or pee.
So, we buried the fish in the flower beds. We prayed and I hugged him.

Difficult day for my son, and I hope that I led him through this rite of passage with a monicum of grace and hope.

So, I pray that Taylor is welcomed into God's Kingdom.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Christmas huh

Working retail this year. Never had done the retail industry before. Done the fast food nation. Done the church business, but retail that is another beast. I have found myself unmotivated about Christmas and I think it is working retail. I asked my coworkers if they felt that way and we surmised it was the store. We like work, but retail sucks the spirt of Christmas out. Part of the retail engine is that it paints the picture that world walks into of Christmas lights and specials. Muzak blaring in the store. As Old Navy says this is the season to "Get the Fash ON" I guess that is right. I am not sure.

After this experience of retail life, I empathize greatly with folks in retail who suffer to paint the illusion of Christmas that is really fake. Mid January the Christmas stuff will be put away or thrown away. The associates and clerks will breathe deeply as January will bring slower sales. So, I am not experience the awe and wonder of Advent and Christmas this year and for that I am joyful. I now understand a segment of the population that struggles with it.

In my previous days as a pastor, I saw retail as the bane of Christmas. It was the source of materialism and now I see how the employees are effected as well. I am one of them.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

Red One

These are the folks who spent the last half year running with me.
Great folks who taught me a great deal about grace and joy.

Oprah goes down 4:28

Oprah goes down.

Laura and I finishing the marathon before the rain settles in.

Race Week

It is race Sunday before the marathon. I have spent the last few months training for the White Rock Marathon It is a hometown marathon and I have set five goals. I have set them in order of importance.

A.) Have a great time and keep the joy of marathoning.

B.) Beat Oprah 4:28, I believe

C.) Beat Guido 4:40:59

D.) Help Courtney who has been running with me across the finish line.

E.) Five Hours

I may not meet my time goals, but I need to make sure that I keep my joy goals. It is race week and I feel pretty calm about this race. Very calm, not very anxious at all. See how I am doing on Thursday.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

New Church

I heard a sermon last week from Keith Stewart at SpringCreek Community Church It talked about consumerism and our desire to want new things. The sermon really touched my heart, because it forced me to realize at this moment in my process, I do not have a heart for people that I need to serve in this area. My heart is not fully into the new church process at this moment. I think my motivation is somewhat selfish. So, I need to wait.

Fearless Joy,
Guido

November 3, 2006

Isaiah 55:6-11

Seek the Lord while he may be found.
There are moments in my ministry when I have had the opportunity to do some new ministry. There was a moment that I could pursue it or let it go. When I did not pursue it, it went away.

I wonder if the call to ministry is that way. Called to ministry, but do not respond to the call…it fades. Is this what God is saying. This is the moment to follow the call? How do we have patience but have a sense of urgency? This is the mature point of faith and I pray for wisdom to know, to feel in my gut, in my bowels the call of the Lord.

Last night, I talked with Val and he had signs from God to start a church. I am not so huge on signs. They are true for Val. I believe God spoke to him through those. That is his faith. My faith is different. It does not demand signs, it relies upon nudges and whispers and the feeling in the pit o fmy stomach. That feeling, “I am being true to the gospel at this moment.”

November 2, 2006

Proverbs 22:17-21
“Apply your mind to my teaching:
For it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips.”

As a planter, I must be able not only to have the words within my mind, but the words and convictions must live in my guts, my bowels in Hebrew language, the center of my being. There will be time when my head will spin, my heart will grow cold, but in the very seat of my being I must have the faith and confidence that God is calling me, yes me, to this mission of being a church planter.

I am not there yet. It is not rooted in my gut. It is in my head.

fearless joy,
guido

November 1, 2006

Isaiah 6:1-6

“Holy, Holy, the earth is filled with his glory.”

A reminder that the whole earth is God’s. It is in need of reclaiming.
"this place is part of the Kingdom of God."
Also, God is the one who take away my sin and make me useful.
It is God who makes me ready for ministry.
Trust that.
When God calls, I will go.

new beginnings

In July, I resigned from my position as pastor for various reasons. Primarily, my vision of church did not mesh with the church I was serving. I could work at imposing my vision, but was that healthy? I took a step back and let go. For my own health and the health of the congregation. It happens at times when pastors are called for their strengths to complement the weaknesses of the congregation. However, the strenghts of the congregation are sometimes the weakness of the minister. At times, those strengths and weaknesses are so central to belief and call that to capitulate is not possible. Both are good, but together are bad. It is like lemon juice is good. Milk is good. They suck together.

In the interim, I left the church without a position to move into. So, what do I do.

I told myself that I would have to get a job, but I was scared to get a full time job. I would want to make a commitment to stay in a place for awhile before moving on. My wife and I talked about me doing some CPE work and so in September I applied for a CPE position. CPE is clinical pastoral education. It is a process of learning predominantly in hospitals where a person works on pastoral skills and pastoral identity. I thought that I needed to do both. So, I am doing an extended unit of CPE.

I find CPE pretty neat experience and environment. There is a structure to chaplaincy and also a sense of freshness. I do not know if I want to be a chaplain, but I am searching that part out of my call. It is about 12 hours a week. So, I get to hang out with dead bodies at times and people who are going through trauma. It is interesting work.

So, I have filled my other time with a retail job. I needed something that simpler and had some structure to it. I started tonight at the store. It is a clothing store and I enjoyed the work. Made my first sale tonight, woohoo.

In a way, I am excited about these two developments of my life. It means that I have worth and to be honest I was not sure if anything I did was worthwhile. However, I notice I do have some good skills working with people and perhaps that is what God is calling this time. A time of healing, purification, and perhaps this is my own little diaspora.

God is faithful, so I will continue to trust.

Fearless Joy,
Guido